My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
