I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
