I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
