Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
