no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
