Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
