That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I understand Curling. That high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Mom said you looked used
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
