some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize