it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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