oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
