Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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