Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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