Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i would punch a child for taco bell
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
