There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
