U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
