u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
