To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
