i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
