Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
