Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
