Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
