I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
