Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
