i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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