Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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