dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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