she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
