Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
