go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize