All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
