in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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