i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
