Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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