ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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