i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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