Im at strip club and am horny
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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