If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
