U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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