i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
