Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize