OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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