I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
