the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
