I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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