I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm both gender and math confused
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
