i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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