Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had to cum in my sink.
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