Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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