I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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