cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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