Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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