More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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