One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
my poor anus
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize