i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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