69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
