it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
