is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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