I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
