why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
