I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize